In the past several months, I’ve been in recovery, having had everything in my life metaphorically on fire. In these difficult times, I had been speaking with my counselor, when she told me,

“Sometimes, you don’t know anything is wrong until everything is on fire.”
– Heather Brummer

This statement hit me hard as I recalled the past year and a half; it had been a tumultuous time with my health, job, etc. Hindsight being twenty-twenty, I can now see the signs building up to the great inferno that precipitated my meltdown, no pun intended. Things that, in the moment, were considered just minor irritations, weird occurrences, or aberrations all turned out to be the smoldering embers building up to a point where I suddenly saw flames coming at me from all directions. 

Looking in the rear-view mirror, I could have taken better notice of my doctor’s  puzzlement by a major health event when I had shown no prior history, nor family predisposition. I could have taken better stock when I would wake up crying several mornings a week without understanding why. I could have  more deeply reflected when friends and family commented on my actions and behaviors, noting that something was “not like me.” Many things would have told me a disruption was headed my way, but I pushed those notions aside, because I thought I was “fine.”

This is an archetypal case of “Physician, heal thyself.”

I speak and coach constantly on building healthy boundaries, prioritizing self-care, and discovering your compelling “yes” so that you can know what you should say “no” to, and yet, here I was…

Just because you know what is right doesn’t mean you always do what is right. I am thankful to my community for helping me to recognize that I was not “fine” before I burnt myself to the ground.

I encourage you to make sure that you establish healthy boundaries, take the time for self-care and, most importantly, build a framework of accountability so that, if you ignore your own personal warning signs, you will have other people who can help you.

Don’t wait until everything around you is on fire!